- HAMMOCK
- laptop
- new phone perhaps?
- rubiks cube clock
- a really soft blanket
- stuffies=)
- a puppy/ marley!!
- a kid lol
- travelling!
- HAMMOCK!!!!!
It’s about time I updated my tumblr, and since I’ve wanting to write this experience down somewhere this is a good place to do so.
Around a month and a half ago I realized how little my parents supported anything yfc related. Knowing this I subconsciously started to rebel in my own ways. I guess I wanted to prove to them that yfc is a big part of my faith, because its helps me see the human side to Jesus. It’s not that they forbid me to go to events, they just made it clear that they’d much rather me not go. Bottom line is, for 6 weeks now I’ve had what people call spiritual dryness. In that time I haven’t been to church, and every night I don’t feel worthy enough to even pray.
For a period of a little more than a week, I unfortunately had no internet. This experience allowed me to see how deeply I relied on the internet to learn about yfc events. Even though I knew that it was unlikely for me to go, I still liked to keep track of what was going on. One of the events that I was invited to was “shout,” I only knew about because I got an FB text sent to my phone. I knew that if anyone asked why I didn’t/couldn’t go I could use the excuse of having no internet thus not knowing the event in detail, I know that this was a poor excuse. I started thinking about times when I would actually get calls from yfc people telling me about events; if that was the case now, I wouldn’t be able to use my lame excuse.
I thought of a time that someone asked me to call my participants from camp, I had every intention of doing so, then realized that an FB message would be much more efficient. That same reasoning must be why most of my knowledge of upcoming yfc event is learned through FB. I thought of how I wrote “call me anytime” on the letters I gave to my participants. How that same sentence was written on the letter my facilitator gave to me. Despite that welcoming invitation, not once did I think of actually calling up my facilitator, and I thought that my participants had the same mindset.
Not long after I had this train of thought, I got a call. I had just finished making plans with some friends, so I was fully expecting it to be that same friend going over details, but I wrong. To my surprise it was one of my participants asking for some advice. It wasn’t advice about faith, or yfc, or anything of that matter, but it got me thinking. It can’t just be a coincidence that a day or so after I had that train of thought, she was praying about her dilemma and suddenly felt an urge to call me.
Before I continue you should know that when I talk I have to construct my sentences in my head, and then verbalize. If I don’t I risk the humiliation of having a jumbled mess or words come out instead of full sentences. So unless I know that we’re close enough for you to understand what I mean, I think about what to say repeatedly before actually saying it. However, during this phone conversation I didn’t have to think, and I even sounded quite articulate. It is at these times that I know I’m being used by God for a higher purpose. I started to remember times when I would give my friends advise and actually be surprised at some of the things I said. I’d feel like a bystander listening to myself talk. I miss those moments. That night was the first time I prayed in weeks, the first time I conversed with God again.
PS. If I were a graph, I finally have a positive slope again. It’s going to take awhile to be at the same place I was a year, or even 2-3months ago, but I know I’m heading in the right direction now. However small my slope is at least I’ll be a positive linear function once again=)
Friday:
- Arrived at clocktower hotel
- Went to IGA, grocery shopped
- Rented “Princess and the Frog” from Rogers
- Ate at a pizza place
- Bought Ice cream at cows, and browsed their shirts “edward cowlen, new mooon, mootube etc”
- Baked brownies
- Watched the movie
Saturday:
- Woke up at 9
- Made pancakes and eggs
- Returned the movie
- Browsed at some stores, walked around the village
- Picked up lift tickets
- Went up whistler, then went up more, went across to blackcomb and came down to the base.
- Found out mini golf closes at 5:15 so we just walked home
- Made dinner, spaghetti with garlic bread
- Got ready for swimming, waited for the bus for 30mins+
- Missed our bus stop, walked to the swimming pool
- Went swimming til 10 and took the bus home
- Loud ppl at the bus were entertaining cause of their accents =)
- Got hit by water balloons walking through the village
- Ate more of our brownies and went to sleep
Sunday:
- Woke up at 10
- Breakfast = french toast and scrambled eggs
- Reserved spots for zip lining (this took awhile!)
- Made some bagel sandwiches and brought it up to the mountain
- Met Sue from Australia on our gondola ride up
- Went up to the very top again, and then came down
- Rushed to the meeting place for zip lining and went
- A guy in our zip lining group was from belgium and he had very long eye lashes, and couldn’t stop smiling
- Went down 5 zip lines, and got to know our guides, a philipinna australian girl, and a guy from nova scotia with a thick accent interested in biology
- got a sick bruise from zip lining
- Went back to hotel and got ready for dinner
- went to “Caramba” for dinner
- Me and KR shared our pasta and pizza, JL had a salad, we also had calamari
- Went to Moguls coffee shop and drank hot chocolate
- Went bak home, packed and chilled
Sunday:
- Woke up at nine, packed a little bit more
- slept on the drive home
- THE END
A quick, yet detailed, recap of my summer so far:
Friday: My last day of highschool, I had my bio final, and well let’s just say that I’ve always wanted to get a 100% in a course. I’ve come close before, but I had never gotten one, until my very last day of highschool=). It was a good day to end my highschool career! Afterwards I felt like I had so much to be thankful, everything was pretty much going my way, except I was lacking in my spiritual life, so I really wanted to go to the GA that day. I went to the wrong church by accident, but after convincing my dad to re-drive me I finally got to the GA. It was about the 7 deadly sins, I quite enjoyed it. Even though I hadn’t been to any of the events in awhile they welcomed me in and were genuinely happy to see me again.
Saturday: I went with my brothers and my dad to best buy to just window shop for father’s day, and my younger ended up buying an Xbox. JM came over to my house that day, like we planned. Met up at extra to buy some food, and went to my house. He played and sang guitar, then we watched Doctor Who. We went to the park, he played and sang guitar again. We ran into some people he knew….Erin and David? It got cold so we went back to my house, had dinner, played mario, played wii play, played pool, played basketball (i dominated), then we just sat around and talked for the rest of the night. He went home at 11, and…yeah=) it was a good day
Sunday: uhhh…i went to church. That’s all I remember. OH actually JL called me later that day and she wasn’t in a very good mood. I told her that she was frustrating me, and she reciprocated, although it wasn’t the nicest thing to say to each other, I still liked it. It just proves to me that we really can be honest with each other, like brutally honest.
Monday: JM came to my house at 11;30 (?) and then we had lunch at Tim hortons. Met up with JL and SM at the bus stop, and we transited to downtown. I was the only one without a grad pass=(. We walked around, went to Tom Lee music, and was amazed by SM’s grace on the rollerblades. Met up with JW then we all rented bikes, except for SM. Me and JL got a tandem bike, it was pretty hard to control in the beginning but we got the hang of it eventually. After biking around stanley park we had dinner at a Ramen place and transited back home.
Tuesday: AY came over to my house. Him and Ben got a long sooo well, which meant I was sort of ignored, but that’s okay it was interesting to watch them play. When Ben took his nap, me and AY just talked, and he told me stories about his crazy drunken days. Needless to say it was very educational=P
Wednesday: I went to JL’s house and she was wearing a dress haha. Talked about whatever was on our minds and it was just one of our lazy days as usual. Prior to this day we would be on the phone everynight for several hours…it’s a wander how we never run out of things to talk about. We have silences, but they’re not awkward=)
Thursday: Had to wake up early for Ben’s preschool graduation. It was quite cute, and that is an understatement. Then I went to ET’s house later on that day, we hadn’t seen each other in quite a while, let alone talk. So we had quite a bit of catching up to do. I slept over because it was already 12, and we felt that there were still things that were left unsaid.
Friday: Went to KR’s grad party, wearing a dress haha. We played volleyball, then volleyball with a bunch of little kids, played some basketball with JL, and pretty much just chilled with people I haven’t seen since school ended. SC was drunk and I found it a little weird that I was the only one he told, even though people figured it out eventually. He also kept inviting me to his trailer in the states…doubt i’ll be able to go, but it did sound interesting, guess it also depends on who goes with me.
Tonight I fall asleep with a smile on my face. The last yearbook signing was filled with laughter, some surprising tears, and Tim Hortons. Plus a first that will forever make me blush.
Quotes: “caveman?” “logic class” “Hella attractive”
In life there life lessons that even though you’ve learned before, you just seem to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. One of the things that I catch myself doing is the fact that I try to force conversations. I just don’t like it when conversations die, or its not as interesting as past conversations. Since conversations are so important in relationships, I feel that if I do force it I’ll end up forcing the relationship as well.
“Communication shouldn’t be formal or forced - it should be a natural part of your relationship that weaves through all your time together.”
-Erin’s book of quotes
Every time something goes wrong in your life or a prayer goes unanswered you wonder if it’s because you aren’t living right in this or that area.
Another sign in that criticism from others doesn’t just hurt your feelings, it devastates you. This is because your sense of God’s love is abstract and has little real power in your life, and you need the approval of others to bolster your sense of value.
You will also feel irresolvable guilt. When you do something you know is wrong, your conscience torments you for a long time, even after you repent. Since you can’t be sure you’ve repented deeply enough you beat yourself up over what you did
But perhaps the clearest symptom of this lack of assurance is a dry prayer life. Though elder brother may be diligent in prayer, there is no wonder, awe, intimacy, or delight in their conversation with God. Think of three kinds of people - a business associate you don’t really like, a friend you enjoy doing things with, and someone you are in love with, who is in love with you. Your conversations with the business associate will be quite goal-oriented. You wont be interested in chitchat. With your friend you may open your heart about some of the problems you are having. But with your lover you will sense a strong impulse to speak about what you find beautiful about him or her.
“One day Jesus said to his disciples: “I’d like you to carry a stone for Me.” He didn’t give any explanation. So the disciples looked around for a stone to carry, and Peter, being the practical sort, sought out the smallest stone he could possibly find. After all, Jesus didn’t give any regulations for weight and size! So he put it in his pocket. Jesus then said: “Follow Me.” He led them on a journey. About noontime Jesus had everyone sit down. He waved his hands and all the stones turned to bread. He said, “Now it’s time for lunch.” In a few seconds, Peter’s lunch was over. When lunch was done Jesus told them to stand up. He said again, “I”d like you to carry a stone for Me.” This time Peter said, “Aha! Now I get it!” So he looked around and saw a small boulder. He hoisted it on his back and it was painful, it made him stagger. But he said, “I can’t wait for supper.” Jesus then said: “Follow Me.” He led them on a journey, with Peter barely being able to keep up. Around supper time Jesus led them to the side of a river. He said, “Now everyone throw your stones into the water.” They did. Then He said, “Follow Me,” and began to walk. Peter and the others looked around at him dumbfounded. Jesus sighed and said, “Don’t you remember what I asked you to do? Who were you carrying to stone for?”
When we do a good deed is it for the sake of the deed itself, or do we think Jesus will owe us something in return?
